Monthly Archives: December 2011

I’m having a difficult time again. I still stay on top of it but thoughts are racing and I feel the same hesistancy growing up against trusting the others. It’s like a mild panic attack and I shiver and feel … Continue reading

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update

It’s been a bad two days. I felt very confused again. And I still feel like that. I’m trying to breed something new, something that is from me and from God maybe, but not from other people. Something like a … Continue reading

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it’s impossible to know everything why did I ever believe I could know this? I cannot ask God to give me a book that gives me a divine head nobody knows what life is all about except when they yield … Continue reading

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update

4 days ago I dropped the Risperdal. Emotionally, it is MUCH MUCH better now, but there were also some other effects. For example, for some reason it is hard for me to write poetry now. It’s just not flowing and … Continue reading

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you must know your foolishness to get a taste for wisdom you must know your failure of love to know what love is like you must have messed yourself up to get a whiff of beauty you must have hurt … Continue reading

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grey outside

It’s a really grey december day. I am glad it doesn’t snow. Hopefully we will have a good winter. I talked with my mother again about moving to the city. She doesn’t say much about it anymore, I believe I … Continue reading

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poem

all my tiresome wanting that wants nothing all my ill seeing that sees nothing all my brave saying that says nothing all my dry weeping that weeps nothing all my silly fearing that has nothing to fear all my mad … Continue reading

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